Hear Me
by claireelisabetta
Summary: April and Jackson's lives were turned upside down after the shooter attacks Seattle Grace Mercy West. With each other's help, will they be able to move on and grow closer? Set after 6x24, endgame Japril.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm hoping that this will be a pretty long one. I've always felt that Jackson and April didn't get enough screen time after the shooting, especially because they were closest to Reed and Charles. So here is a fic dealing with how they react and grow closer from that whole thing, and eventually become lovers ;) Hopefully you guys enjoy!**

Chapter One: The Aftermath

Jackson Avery couldn't sleep.

It had been three days since the shooting that rocked Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital, three days since two of his closest friends were killed. As a surgeon, Jackson knew that life was fleeting. One minute a person is laughing and talking, the next, their heart stops. It was textbook, elementary- it only takes a second for a life to end. Jackson had always been able to comfortably ignore the fact that he and the people he loved weren't invincible. That is, until three days before, when Gary Clark put bullets into his best friends.

Jackson Avery couldn't sleep.

Which was why he was sitting alone in a booth at Joe's at two in the morning, cradling a beer in his trembling hands. A week ago, Jackson would've been at the hospital, picking up a shift in the ER, or at home, listening to Charles pine over Reed. Due to the hospital's indefinite shutdown, the first was not an option. As for the second, well.

Jackson looked around, eyelids heavy, taking in the dark tavern. It was mostly empty, save for a few lonely patrons. There was a dejected looking man sitting at the bar, frowning into his coke with rum. A middle aged blonde woman at a table near the door was tossing back shots like they were pieces of candy, hiccupping every couple of minutes. Jackson figured that he looked as pathetic as they did, sitting alone in a booth with dark circles under his eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Sitting at Joe's for hours was better than going home to his and Charles' apartment. He felt like he saw the ghost of his roommate and friend everywhere he turned- in the magazines on the coffee table, in the ratty gym shoes next to the couch. Jackson couldn't escape his dead friend.

The sound of the door opening echoed through the silent pub. Jackson looked up to see a weary April Kepner entering the room. Her normally bright eyes were bloodshot and her long brown hair was pulled up in a haphazard ponytail, short tendrils escaping and falling around her pale face. He managed a strained smile at the girl, earning a halfhearted wave as she walked to the bar and ordered her drink. A few minutes later she arrived at his booth, setting her gin and tonic on the scuffed table. Jackson was surprised- April normally went for the fruity drinks, something Reed would endlessly tease her for. He watched as the brunette took a swig, wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

"Hey," Jackson said, his voice gravelly.

"Hi," April returned quietly. She looked as tired as he felt, the dark ring around her eyes matching his. Jackson couldn't imagine how terrible April must've felt- while he and Charles were close, they were nowhere near as tight as April and Reed. The two girls had been the best of friends, together constantly. Reed Adamson was the closest thing April had to family in Seattle.

They sat together quietly, nursing their drinks in the dusty light. Jackson had never seen April like this before; the dark haired girl had always been perky and optimistic, no matter the situation. It was unsettling to see her so… human.

April was the first to break the silence. "I can't- I just- I can't be there." Jackson nodded in understanding. He wasn't the only one avoiding his apartment.

"I know."

"I'm scared," April whispered, so quietly that Jackson had to lean in to hear her.

"Me too."

"I'm scared that when I close my eyes…" April trailed off, looking down at her half finished drink.

"You'll see them," Jackson finished. April nodded.

"Yeah. I'll see them."

April was the one that found Reed in that supply closet three days before, lying on the floor with a bullet in her brain. April was the one that had to scrub her best friend's blood from her skin. Jackson couldn't help but feel guilty. All he did was stand in an OR with Hunt and Altman, cursed with the knowledge of the situation.

"You need sleep," Jackson advised. He knew that he was being a hypocrite, but April was different from him. She was innocent. Jackson couldn't help but worry about the girl.

"So do you," April replied, tipping the last sip of gin and tonic into her mouth.

Jackson nodded, finishing his beer. "So do I," he agreed.

The brunette looked up at him from under her dark eyelashes timidly. "Jackson, can I- can I stay at your place? I just… don't think I can handle going back there."

"Yeah, of course," Jackson replied earnestly. He would do whatever April needed of him, and he had to admit that it would be easier to face his flat with the girl by his side.

"Thank you," the girl let out a relieved breath. Jackson smiled softly at her as they stood up and left the bar. _No, thank_ you, he thought as they walked quietly through the night to his apartment.

* * *

"You could take the couch, or Charles' room…" Jackson swallowed the bile that rose to his throat at the thought of his friend's empty bedroom. April bit her lip harshly.

"Um, I'm good with the couch," she replied quickly. April watched as Jackson pulled a pile of blankets out of the closet and placed them on the old couch. "Seriously, thanks again."

"It's no problem. It's better not to be alone."

April nodded. "Goodnight," she said quietly.

"Goodnight, April," Jackson replied. He gave the couch one last glance before he headed into his bedroom and settled down onto his bed.

Jackson's eyes were wide open two hours later when he heard the knocking on the bedroom door. No matter how much he tossed and turned, no matter how many sheep he counted, Jackson couldn't bring himself to shut his eyes and rest. "Come in," he whispered. The door opened slightly, revealing a teary April.

"I'm sorry," she blubbered quietly. "I'm sorry."

Jackson sat up in bed, motioning for the girl to come sit next to him. "Don't be," he murmured as she crumpled onto the bed, tears streaming down her cheeks. He wrapped his arms around his friend tightly, pulling her head to his chest as he rubbed her back soothingly. April was soft in his arms, a tiny bundle of warmth and comfort. For the first time in three days, Jackson allowed his eyes to flutter shut, and sleep overcame him.

Jackson woke up entangled in the brunette's arms, a sense of contentment flooding over him. For the first time since the shooting, he felt relaxed. April's head was resting on his chest, her long eyelashes casting a shadow onto her cheeks and her pink lips slightly parted. The brunette looked peaceful in her sleep, almost angelic. Jackson watched as she woke, eyes blinking quickly. Jackson smiled when she realized that she was using him as a pillow and quickly jumped off of him, mumbling an embarrassed apology.

"You apologize too much," the green eyed man accused playfully.

"Sorry," April replied before she could stop herself. Her grin was contagious, and soon Jackson found himself smiling along with her.

* * *

It became routine for April to find herself in Jackson's bed, his strong arms protecting her from the nightmares. Jackson wasn't sure when it happened, but it became impossible for him to sleep without the brunette curled against him. It made it easier to close his eyes, easier to calm down. For a few minutes, Jackson almost forgot about Charles and Reed.

Almost.

April sat on his couch, checking her email on Jackson's laptop. "Oh," she announced softly.

"What's up?" Jackson asked, plopping down next to her with a piece of toast.

"The hospital's opening back up in a few days. They want us to go to a therapy session and talk to a psychologist before we can go back to work."

Jackson cringed. The last thing he wanted was a deep talk about his feelings with some shrink. It was much simpler to just push everything back into the dark recesses of his brain, to try and shut out the pain the best he could.

"When?" he queried, looking down at his toast. He suddenly wasn't quite as hungry as he had been a few minutes ago.

April scrolled down, finishing the email. "In an hour." She bit her bottom lip nervously, looking up at Jackson.

"Crap," Jackson sighed.

"It makes sense, I guess…" April rambled anxiously. "I mean, they want to check for PTSD. Which is understandable. We are surgeons, after all. We can't be off our game during a procedure. I mean-"

Jackson laid a comforting hand on her arm. "April. It'll be fine. We'll be there together, okay?"

She looked up at Jackson, hazel eyes meeting green. Inhaling deeply, she nodded. "Okay."

* * *

Lexie's eyes were wild, panicked. "Which means we were a mass murder, because it happened in one place, by one person, and more than four people were killed," she finished, legs shaking.

The room was silent. Jackson looked across the circle to April, who stared back at him like a deer in the headlights. The girl had been trying her best to appear calm, but Jackson knew that Lexie's words had shaken her. "It's okay," he mouthed. April nodded quickly, keeping eye contact with Jackson. He was her anchor, the one thing that kept her from sprinting out of the hospital.

Dr. Perkins cleared his throat awkwardly. "Okay, that'll be it for today's session. You all can go." April stood up gratefully, walking across the room to meet Jackson. "Wait, can Dr. Kepner and Dr. Avery please stay back?"

April exchanged a confused look with Jackson as the rest of the surgeons filed out. The door swung shut behind their friends, leaving Jackson and April in the room with Andrew Perkins.

"I understand that you two were the closest to Dr. Adamson and Dr. Percy," the man said kindly.

"Yes," April confirmed, her voice catching in her throat.

"This must be extraordinarily hard on both of you," the psychologist remarked in a measured tone, his eyes searching them for their reaction.

"It is," Jackson replied warily. He didn't want some shrink analyzing him any more than necessary.

"Well, I just wanted you to know that there is extra help if you need it. Support groups, grief counseling…"

"Thank you for your concern, but we'll manage," Jackson replied, slinging his arm over April's shoulder protectively. Dr. Perkins' eyes followed his arm, a small smile forming on his face.

"Alright. Just know that you are both welcome to come speak to me at any time."

April quickly thanked the psychologist and scurried out of the room, Jackson by her side.

"Wow," April sighed. "That was… terrible."

"I'm suddenly very hungry for Mexican food," Jackson mused, recalling Cristina's earlier statement about tacos. April rolled her eyes at her friend.

"You're always very hungry for Mexican food," April pointed out.

"You got me there," Jackson grinned down at the shorter girl.

April shot him an exasperated smile. "Fine, lets go get some tacos," she relented. The pair walked out into the Seattle streets, Jackson's arm still around April's shoulders.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! PLEASE leave a review telling me what you think about the direction this is going. I love your feedback!**


	2. Corrupted Lungs

**A/N: Chapter 2! Thanks for all of your kind reviews, and I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter Two: Corrupted Lungs

"What even is this?" Jackson asked, holding up the large metal device he had found in a large cardboard box neatly labeled "Kitchen" in April's immaculate handwriting. Eyeing the tool suspiciously, he poked the shiny exterior. "Some sort of torture device?"

April rolled her eyes, punching her friend playfully. "It's a pasta maker, you moron," she teased, grabbing the offending machine from his hands and placing it in one of Meredith Grey's cabinets. The two surgeons were in the process of moving into the large house, and Jackson was astonished by the number of kitchen tools April had.

Jackson's eyes lit up. "Pasta maker? Why have you never made me pasta?" he asked accusingly. April laughed.

"Someday, I'll make you pasta. Today, however, is not that day."

Jackson nodded in agreement. Both him and April were exhausted from their long day of moving boxes and furniture, and the only thing Jackson wanted to do was collapse on his mattress. "Bedtime?" he asked, offering his arm to the brunette. April nodded and looped her pale arm through his, yawning as they walked upstairs.

Jackson and April stopped sheepishly when they reached the hallway. April's new room was across from Jackson's, less than a stones throw away. Jackson cleared his throat, unsure of what to say. "Um, goodnight," he said quietly. April smiled softly back at him.

"Goodnight, Jackson."

Jackson fought to hide his disappointment when he and April turned and entered their respective rooms. He knew that it was selfish and weird, but he needed his best friend to sleep with him. Jackson chuckled humorlessly as he peeled off his jeans and sweater. Normally when girls slept in the same bed as him, they were doing more than just sleeping. But with April, it was different; it was pure, innocent. Maybe it wasn't normal, but it felt _right. _

The green-eyed man sighed, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a Tulane shirt before crawling under the covers and turning off the lamp on his bedside table. He shivered slightly as he drifted off. He had forgotten how cold it was without April there to keep him warm.

* * *

Jackson paced through Seattle Grace Mercy West, a smile on his face as he checked his pager. The normally bustling hospital was almost completely devoid of patients, something Jackson attributed to the strange time of night. He grinned widely when he saw his friend emerging from an on-call room, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Hey man," Jackson greeted, patting his friend jovially on the back. "Wanna go down to the cafeteria? I'm starving."

Charles checked his watch and nodded. "Sure. Hey, do you know where Reed is?"

Jackson rolled his eyes. Charles' infatuation with Reed Adamson, while an amusing source of entertainment, could be a little bit annoying. "Yeah, I think she's grabbing something to eat before she heads into a surgery with Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Sloan."

"Oh, uh, cool! Maybe we'll run into her, or something!" Dr. Percy said quickly, trying and failing to keep his voice nonchalant.

"Dude, your whole puppy love thing is kind of pathetic," Jackson joked, expecting a defensive response in return. When there was no reply, Jackson raised his eyebrows as he continued walking through the empty hall. "Charles? No snarky comeback?" Jackson looked around in confusion, searching for the reason for his friend's uncharacteristic silence. He didn't expect what he saw when he turned around.

"Charles!" Jackson screamed. Charles was standing completely still, about fifteen feet behind, with a startled look on his face and a large pool of dark red blood spreading quickly across his light blue scrubs. "Charles!" He rushed over as the dark haired man collapsed, droplets of blood splattering over the floor. Jackson frantically searched for the source of the bleeding, ripping the bloody scrubs off of his friend's body and examining his chest hurriedly.

"Reed," Charles croaked, his glazed eyes focusing on something behind Jackson.

"Reed? Is that you? I need your help! It's Charles, he's bleeding and I don't know where it's all coming from!" Jackson cried out as he desperately looked for the wound.

"Sorry, Avery," came Reed's calm voice.

"What do you mean? Reed, I need you! He's going to bleed out if we don't manage the blood loss!" The only noise he got in response was the snapping sound of her gum.

Jackson turned around, looking to see why Reed wasn't helping. "Reed, we need to get him on oxygen and control the-"

Jackson stopped abruptly when he saw the angry red bullet hole in the girl's head. "Oh my God!"

Reed just smirked, a trail of blood dripping from her forehead and down her elfish face. "Sorry, Avery," she repeated, leaning casually against a supply room door and picking at her painted nails. Jackson gasped for air, the room seeming to spin out from underneath him

Suddenly, Jackson heard a sound that made his heart stop.

"Jackson!" April screamed. "Jackson!"

"April!"

Jackson sprang up from the bloodstained floor, eyes wide in fear. "April, where are you! April!"

"Jackson, I'm right here. I'm right here." April's voice was soothing as she stroked Jackson's sweaty forehead. Jackson blinked rapidly, trying to make out his surroundings. "You were dreaming, Jackson. It's okay. It's okay. I'm here."

Jackson looked around quickly. He was lying in bed, his blankets strewn across the floor and his bedroom door open, letting a stream of yellow light enter the otherwise dark room. April was lying next to him in her purple pajamas, rubbing his arm comfortingly. Jackson let out a strangled sob as he wrapped his arms around the brunette, clutching onto her tightly to make sure she was real. She was solid in his grasp, her skin soft.

"You were screaming," April murmured quietly. "Was it… them?"

"Yeah," Jackson said, his body tense.

"It's okay. It'll be okay."

Jackson breathed heavily into April's shoulder, inhaling the smell of her strawberry conditioner. "Don't leave, please," Jackson choked. "Don't ever leave."

April nodded, hugging him back tightly. "I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

Tick, tick, tick.

Jackson's eyes were trained on the plain clock hanging on the wall, timing his breathing with the reassuring ticking.

"So, Dr. Avery," Andrew Perkins said, looking expectantly at the green-eyed man. "You haven't said a word since you've gotten here."

Jackson shrugged noncommittally. Tick, tick, tick.

"Well, let's start with the basic questions. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling like two of my best friends got shot," Jackson said curtly as he shifted his gaze to Dr. Perkins. He had never been a fan of shrinks and their prying questions and concerned glances. Jackson had always been taught that Averys didn't complain, that Averys didn't need help from others. After his father left him and his mother, he became the man of the household. A full time job that left no time for talking about things like "feelings".

Jackson fidgeted uncomfortably under Dr. Perkins' watchful stare. The psychologist's eyes seemed to bore through Jackson's. "I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Yeah. Me too," Jackson said sharply, his eyes wandering back to the clock. Tick, tick, tick.

Dr. Perkins surveyed Jackson closely. "Nightmares, right?"

"Excuse me?" Jackson sputtered.

"Nightmares. You have nightmares. It's not uncommon in post traumatic stress victims, especially for somebody like you."

"'Somebody like you'? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jackson asked, voice heating up.

"You internalize all of your pain, Jackson. We've been sitting here for almost forty five minutes and you've barely said ten words. You bottle it up. You've been through a lot in these past few weeks, and I know that it's hard to talk about it," Perkins said kindly, his voice soft. "But I need to know that you have somebody to talk to."

"I do," Jackson said quickly. He was telling the truth- he had April.

"Dr. Kepner?" Andrew Perkins asked, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Yes. "

Perkins nodded slowly. "You've got a good head on those shoulders, Dr. Avery. You just need to makes sure that it doesn't explode from all of the pressure you're putting on yourself." He pulled his clipboard closer to him and signed the form. "You're cleared for surgery."

Jackson gratefully accepted the form, almost sprinting out of the conference room before he heard Dr. Perkins call out to him.

"And Jackson?"

"Yes?"

The shrink looked at him closely. "You're allowed to break down. It doesn't make you weak. It makes you real."

* * *

Jackson sighed as he opened the door to Meredith's house, tossing his bag next to the entrance and heading into the kitchen. April was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in front of her.

"Hey," Jackson said tiredly, plopping down in the chair next to hers and grabbing the cup of coffee. He grimaced as he took a swig of the overly sweetened drink. "Jesus, how much sugar did you put in this?"

April pouted defensively. "I like it sweet!" she insisted as she pulled the mug back from him and took a long sip. "Mmm."

Jackson looked down, smiling at the kitchen table. Even just sitting with April made him feel better. Safer.

"Did you get cleared?" April asked Jackson curiously, tilting her head to the side slightly.

Jackson cleared his throat and nodded. "Yeah."

"Good. That's good!" April smiled.

"I guess you're right. Things will finally be getting back to normal."

Normal.

The word tasted bitter in Jackson's mouth. It was invasive, sour. Jackson wasn't sure he could even remember what normal was. In all honesty, he didn't think that a world without Reed Adamson and Charles Percy could ever be normal again.

Sometimes Jackson couldn't believe how much he had changed in the past month. It took less than twenty-four hours for his entire life to be upturned. Less than twenty-four hours for his friends to die, for his heart to shatter, and for everything he had believed was the truth to be torn apart.

He was mortal. April was mortal. They could die at any second- in a car accident, a plane crash. Life was random, and death even more so.

Jackson would give anything to go back in time and tell Charles and Reed not to go to work that morning. To call in sick, and stay home. Everything would've stayed exactly the same.

But if that happened, he wouldn't have April.

It wasn't as if they weren't close before, but in the past few weeks, April Kepner had become more to Jackson than he ever could've known. She became his lifeboat, the one person in his life that he trusted wholeheartedly. He wasn't even sure if he would be alive without her.

The pretty brunette looked up at Jackson and smiled softly, her hazel eyes meeting his green ones. "Back to normal," April echoed quietly.

**A/N: Hope you all liked it! As usual PLEASE REVIEW! I love hearing your feedback and comments. Thank you all so much for reading :) **


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